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      ["title"]=>
      string(61) "Dating In Your Twenties Versus Dating In College: A GIF Guide"
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If leaving college and entering the real world has taught me anything, it?s that Seamless is a godsend. Oh, and also, dating is the worst. Despite the fact that there are so many different ways to meet people in this day and age, it seems that trying to find that special someone, especially in your twenties, is damn […]

The post Dating In Your Twenties Versus Dating In College: A GIF Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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If leaving college and entering the real world has taught me anything, it?s that Seamless is a godsend. Oh, and also, dating is the worst. Despite the fact that there are so many different ways to meet people in this day and age, it seems that trying to find that special someone, especially in your twenties, is damn near impossible. Relationships either never pick up off the ground, or they last for a short period of time before fizzling out sooner after upon the discovery that, no, apparently no one my age is looking for anything even remotely serious. To say that the struggle is real is the understatement of the decade.

That?s not to say that I had so much more dating success in college. I?ve stated before on this very site that I have next to no dating history. However, it was definitely easier to pick up guys for any reason in college than it is now. Perhaps it was because I went to such a small school, which automatically made the pickings slimmer, or maybe it was because much of my school?s social life was fueled by unhealthy amounts of alcohol, but things just seemed so much simpler in my little upstate New York village of a university. Sometimes I like to imagine what dating in my twenties would be like if it were in any way, shape, or form similar to what dating was like in college. You know what? Do you have any place you need to be right now? No? Great! Let?s imagine it together:

How To Meet Guys

In your twenties, meeting guys feels a lot like this:

But if it were like meeting guys in college, it would be like:

No joke, I literally know someone who started hooking up with a guy in college by going up to him in a bar and saying, ?Let?s get weird.? Like, that actually worked. If I tried that now, I?m pretty sure I would get arrested.

The First Date

More often than not, first dates in my twenties are two and a half hours of this:

But in college, it could be like:

And you?d still probably see each other for a few months and have mildly intriguing conversation because you could talk about all of the classes you don?t have in common while housing pizza and having awesome sex. Life is so unfair.

The Relationship In A Nutshell

In your twenties:

And in college:

If only it were that simple and there were days where all you had to do was go to one class for an hour in the morning.

The Breakup

In your twenties:

In college:

The only upside to dating in your twenties is that, when you break up with someone, it?s not as upsetting, because more likely than not the guy sucked. Also, you?re less worried about running into them in the omelette line in the dining hall on Sunday morning.

The Recovery

In your twenties:

And in college:

Because you are as fabulous as Zac Efron on a grassy knoll no matter what.

The post Dating In Your Twenties Versus Dating In College: A GIF Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(638) "

If leaving college and entering the real world has taught me anything, it?s that Seamless is a godsend. Oh, and also, dating is the worst. Despite the fact that there are so many different ways to meet people in this day and age, it seems that trying to find that special someone, especially in your twenties, is damn […]

The post Dating In Your Twenties Versus Dating In College: A GIF Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5371) "

If leaving college and entering the real world has taught me anything, it?s that Seamless is a godsend. Oh, and also, dating is the worst. Despite the fact that there are so many different ways to meet people in this day and age, it seems that trying to find that special someone, especially in your twenties, is damn near impossible. Relationships either never pick up off the ground, or they last for a short period of time before fizzling out sooner after upon the discovery that, no, apparently no one my age is looking for anything even remotely serious. To say that the struggle is real is the understatement of the decade.

That?s not to say that I had so much more dating success in college. I?ve stated before on this very site that I have next to no dating history. However, it was definitely easier to pick up guys for any reason in college than it is now. Perhaps it was because I went to such a small school, which automatically made the pickings slimmer, or maybe it was because much of my school?s social life was fueled by unhealthy amounts of alcohol, but things just seemed so much simpler in my little upstate New York village of a university. Sometimes I like to imagine what dating in my twenties would be like if it were in any way, shape, or form similar to what dating was like in college. You know what? Do you have any place you need to be right now? No? Great! Let?s imagine it together:

How To Meet Guys

In your twenties, meeting guys feels a lot like this:

But if it were like meeting guys in college, it would be like:

No joke, I literally know someone who started hooking up with a guy in college by going up to him in a bar and saying, ?Let?s get weird.? Like, that actually worked. If I tried that now, I?m pretty sure I would get arrested.

The First Date

More often than not, first dates in my twenties are two and a half hours of this:

But in college, it could be like:

And you?d still probably see each other for a few months and have mildly intriguing conversation because you could talk about all of the classes you don?t have in common while housing pizza and having awesome sex. Life is so unfair.

The Relationship In A Nutshell

In your twenties:

And in college:

If only it were that simple and there were days where all you had to do was go to one class for an hour in the morning.

The Breakup

In your twenties:

In college:

The only upside to dating in your twenties is that, when you break up with someone, it?s not as upsetting, because more likely than not the guy sucked. Also, you?re less worried about running into them in the omelette line in the dining hall on Sunday morning.

The Recovery

In your twenties:

And in college:

Because you are as fabulous as Zac Efron on a grassy knoll no matter what.

The post Dating In Your Twenties Versus Dating In College: A GIF Guide appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558527988) } [1]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(68) "When Things Don?t Work Out And You Are Afraid Of Being Alone Forever" ["link"]=> string(106) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/22/when-things-dont-work-out-and-you-are-afraid-of-being-alone-forever/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 22 May 2019 12:05:06 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(53) "Being Singleinterestingrelationshipssinglesingle life" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2280" ["description"]=> string(654) "

If you are most people, most of your relationships will not work out. Sometimes, things will fall apart naturally; sometimes, everything will come screeching to a halt; sometimes, you will fall asleep facing the opposite direction of a person for months and one day realize it is not because of your back pain, it?s who […]

The post When Things Don?t Work Out And You Are Afraid Of Being Alone Forever appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5504) "

If you are most people, most of your relationships will not work out. Sometimes, things will fall apart naturally; sometimes, everything will come screeching to a halt; sometimes, you will fall asleep facing the opposite direction of a person for months and one day realize it is not because of your back pain, it?s who is lying next to you. Sometimes, it will creep up so subtly that when it?s over, you?re not heartbroken ? in fact, you?re not even surprised. I am most people, and most of my relationships have not worked out. All, in fact.

I knew when I moved out of Portland, things would be different. I?m writing this from my new room in my new apartment on the Lower East Side. I have no furniture, no lamps and nothing on the walls. There are no curtains, so I typically change under the covers in the dark or in the bathroom because I am paranoid somebody?s sitting outside my window. I?m just paranoid in general.

For instance, I am afraid of being alone. Not being alone while walking on the street, though I am admittedly scared of that, too. I am afraid of being alone in that same way millions of people are afraid of being alone: of living alone and, in the end, dying alone. I am not always afraid of being alone, however ? just when it seems inevitable.

Yesterday, I realized something I deeply wanted to work out will not be. It was mostly mutual and for a very, very rational reason; I moved last month from the Pacific Northwest to New York, thereby creating an enormous gap. We knew this would happen, but predicting events and watching them unfold are two very different experiences. Nevertheless, despite knowing those reasons are rational, I am sad today. I haven?t told many people because I don?t want to hear any advice. I do not want a single ?things will be okay,? ?forget about it,? or, worse, ?you?re better off.? I do not want sympathetic offers to have a drink tonight. I would like to experience being alone on my own terms because I?m tired of being told loneliness is the same as weakness.

I don?t need a relationship to make me happy. I love my family, my friends, my pets, my job and avocado. I am a decent cook. I eat well. I laugh often. I support myself financially and (much of the time) emotionally. For years, I was co-dependent and needy; I thought I was only half a person without another person. Now, romance-wise, I want somebody whom I can speak with, sleep with and sleep next to.

If you are alone, I can?t give you much advice on how to change that; I can only say that you?re not really alone, because we?re all somewhat alone, but that doesn?t mean very much, anyway. But if you?re afraid of being alone, I can tell you that I know it?s terrifying, especially when you have never really been done it (successfully, happily) before.

People who spend most of their lives alone aren?t necessarily ?good? at it, but they?re better-adjusted, and that can mean the difference between driving yourself crazy with fear and simple acceptance. And people who spend most of their lives alone will tell you how much better it is, and how much easier it is, and how you should really stop being sad about it because they aren?t sad about their situation and it?s only made them stronger. And if you are like me, you?ll nod and say, ?Yes, you are so strong, that must have been so hard, thank you for the advice.?

As many of you may know (or may not, I don?t know, you could just skip all my blubbering retrospective sadness each week), I write a lot about my personal issues. Typically, those pieces are about the past and what I?ve been trying to do to correct those problems.

But today, while I am sorry to be such a huge bummer or to sound as though loneliness is somehow the only thing my life revolves around right now, I am admittedly very sad. So, the point of this piece is to remind you that being lonely is normal. Being afraid of being alone is very, very normal, no matter how many high fives we give to those who are permanently cool with it.

Just because you?re sad about being lonely and scared of being alone doesn?t mean you are a flailing, affection-anemic loser who?s flunking at being ?unconstrained? and self-sufficient (at least, I hope not). Being told you?re not allowed to sometimes feel sad while alone is like being told you can?t get hungry when on a diet. While I may be shedding some metaphorical weight by being alone (160 pounds of it, to be more literal), I don?t have to be happy about it and I don?t have to stay strong.

You are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to be lonely, you are allowed to not want to be alone. So tonight, when I retreat back to my new apartment, stare at my blank walls and change under my borrowed covers, even though I won?t go so far as to sob or panic or casually call some old acquaintance up for sex, I won?t be happy. But I?m allowed to not be, and that?s okay for now.

 

The post When Things Don?t Work Out And You Are Afraid Of Being Alone Forever appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(654) "

If you are most people, most of your relationships will not work out. Sometimes, things will fall apart naturally; sometimes, everything will come screeching to a halt; sometimes, you will fall asleep facing the opposite direction of a person for months and one day realize it is not because of your back pain, it?s who […]

The post When Things Don?t Work Out And You Are Afraid Of Being Alone Forever appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5504) "

If you are most people, most of your relationships will not work out. Sometimes, things will fall apart naturally; sometimes, everything will come screeching to a halt; sometimes, you will fall asleep facing the opposite direction of a person for months and one day realize it is not because of your back pain, it?s who is lying next to you. Sometimes, it will creep up so subtly that when it?s over, you?re not heartbroken ? in fact, you?re not even surprised. I am most people, and most of my relationships have not worked out. All, in fact.

I knew when I moved out of Portland, things would be different. I?m writing this from my new room in my new apartment on the Lower East Side. I have no furniture, no lamps and nothing on the walls. There are no curtains, so I typically change under the covers in the dark or in the bathroom because I am paranoid somebody?s sitting outside my window. I?m just paranoid in general.

For instance, I am afraid of being alone. Not being alone while walking on the street, though I am admittedly scared of that, too. I am afraid of being alone in that same way millions of people are afraid of being alone: of living alone and, in the end, dying alone. I am not always afraid of being alone, however ? just when it seems inevitable.

Yesterday, I realized something I deeply wanted to work out will not be. It was mostly mutual and for a very, very rational reason; I moved last month from the Pacific Northwest to New York, thereby creating an enormous gap. We knew this would happen, but predicting events and watching them unfold are two very different experiences. Nevertheless, despite knowing those reasons are rational, I am sad today. I haven?t told many people because I don?t want to hear any advice. I do not want a single ?things will be okay,? ?forget about it,? or, worse, ?you?re better off.? I do not want sympathetic offers to have a drink tonight. I would like to experience being alone on my own terms because I?m tired of being told loneliness is the same as weakness.

I don?t need a relationship to make me happy. I love my family, my friends, my pets, my job and avocado. I am a decent cook. I eat well. I laugh often. I support myself financially and (much of the time) emotionally. For years, I was co-dependent and needy; I thought I was only half a person without another person. Now, romance-wise, I want somebody whom I can speak with, sleep with and sleep next to.

If you are alone, I can?t give you much advice on how to change that; I can only say that you?re not really alone, because we?re all somewhat alone, but that doesn?t mean very much, anyway. But if you?re afraid of being alone, I can tell you that I know it?s terrifying, especially when you have never really been done it (successfully, happily) before.

People who spend most of their lives alone aren?t necessarily ?good? at it, but they?re better-adjusted, and that can mean the difference between driving yourself crazy with fear and simple acceptance. And people who spend most of their lives alone will tell you how much better it is, and how much easier it is, and how you should really stop being sad about it because they aren?t sad about their situation and it?s only made them stronger. And if you are like me, you?ll nod and say, ?Yes, you are so strong, that must have been so hard, thank you for the advice.?

As many of you may know (or may not, I don?t know, you could just skip all my blubbering retrospective sadness each week), I write a lot about my personal issues. Typically, those pieces are about the past and what I?ve been trying to do to correct those problems.

But today, while I am sorry to be such a huge bummer or to sound as though loneliness is somehow the only thing my life revolves around right now, I am admittedly very sad. So, the point of this piece is to remind you that being lonely is normal. Being afraid of being alone is very, very normal, no matter how many high fives we give to those who are permanently cool with it.

Just because you?re sad about being lonely and scared of being alone doesn?t mean you are a flailing, affection-anemic loser who?s flunking at being ?unconstrained? and self-sufficient (at least, I hope not). Being told you?re not allowed to sometimes feel sad while alone is like being told you can?t get hungry when on a diet. While I may be shedding some metaphorical weight by being alone (160 pounds of it, to be more literal), I don?t have to be happy about it and I don?t have to stay strong.

You are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to be lonely, you are allowed to not want to be alone. So tonight, when I retreat back to my new apartment, stare at my blank walls and change under my borrowed covers, even though I won?t go so far as to sob or panic or casually call some old acquaintance up for sex, I won?t be happy. But I?m allowed to not be, and that?s okay for now.

 

The post When Things Don?t Work Out And You Are Afraid Of Being Alone Forever appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558526706) } [2]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(56) "Dating A Coworker: Reasons to Actually Date a Colleague!" ["link"]=> string(93) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/20/dating-a-coworker-reasons-to-actually-date-a-colleague/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 20 May 2019 14:04:19 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(52) "Dating Adviceco-workerColleagueCoworkerdatingreasons" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2264" ["description"]=> string(617) "

Who did you date throughout high school and college? Classmates probably, right? The people you were around all day, every day. And when those relationships ended, sure, it got tricky. You had to take new routes to certain classes, maybe even a new seat in some of those classes, but it was all do-able. But […]

The post Dating A Coworker: Reasons to Actually Date a Colleague! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9272) "

Who did you date throughout high school and college? Classmates probably, right? The people you were around all day, every day. And when those relationships ended, sure, it got tricky. You had to take new routes to certain classes, maybe even a new seat in some of those classes, but it was all do-able. But as adults, we can’t navigate the same waters with the same aplomb of teenager. Fact is, nearly 40 percent of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker. And a whopping 31 percent of office relationships result in marriage. So here are reasons why you should be pursuing exactly who everyone is telling you not to pursue.

Convenience

Much like the aforementioned classmate scenario, a coworker romance makes seeing each other… well… easy. No trying to squeeze in time together or “I got this work thing” to keep you apart?hell, she is your work thing. Sure, many companies, if not most, have rules against this sort of thing, but “fraternization” isn’t exactly what you had in mind anyway.

Insight

Getting to know the work version of a significant other before you get to know any of the other ones? Talk about key intel. You’ve seen her perform under pressure, interact with others and even laugh at workplace pranks when others are too serious to appreciate the minor distraction. This is the stuff of Jim and Pam (The Office?)

Carpool Opportunities

You know that frantic morning when your car won’t start or the morning greets you with a flat tire? Look who’s got a built-in ride to work. What’s more, if she’s stayed the night (or vice versa), it makes it even more of a likely scenario, and you’ll both save a boatload on gas. The downside? It could make things move much, much faster than they ordinarily would, but that’s the risk inherent in all of this, to be honest.

Copy Machine Sex

It’s clearly all the rage or it wouldn’t find its way into every office-based R-Rated movie or TV series on F/X. But, seriously, the stolen moments around the building with your now-significant other are what’s going to launch this relationship to the moon and back. You’ll now be looking forward to going to work like you never have before.

Good Gossip

Until you’re a full-blown couple, and everyone knows it, you’ve now got an ally behind enemy lines. Sure, this can get you all the company gossip you’d like but it can also get you the heads up on where certain promotions are, and what you’ve got to do to get said promotions. You’ve merged the personal with the professional already, so start reaping the rewards.

Exploration Skills

Once you’ve begun sneaking away into every nook and cranny of your workplace, you’re going to begin to know your way around it like no one else, save for the janitor. This same logic applies to the neighbor that everyone told you to stay away from, as they’re “too close for comfort” and all that mumbo jumbo a guy hears when, fact is, convenience and proximity are two pluses when it comes to dating?the very reason the “long distance relationships don’t work” theory was born. Date a neighbor and you’ll know your way in and out of backyards like nobody’s business. You’ll be the go-to guy when the zombie apocalypse goes down.

Real Life

That’s right, no profiles to write, no photos to upload, no tentative plans to meet at a Ruby Tuesday’s but you wind up leaving after she’s an hour late, certain she spied on you through the window and opted not to move forward. Scrap that entire misbegotten process. The closest you’ll get to online dating when it comes to dating a coworker is sending adorable (or, OK, filthy) memes to each other throughout the day.

Status

Haven’t you always found it odd that the very people who vocalize a disdain for inter-office dating, co-mingling, whatever hot word they plug in, are the same ones who are in awe of power couples? Well, how else would you attain that status without dating first? Heck, sometimes it can take a good long time to stick, like a couple of random hookups before you realize you might have something special here. But you do have the potential to be a power couple, too.

Commonalities

Yep, it’s as simple as that. You?ve also already learned things about each other, which is so much better than going into a possible relationship blind. How could there possibly be any of those awkward lulls in conversation that plague so many early dates when you’ve got what transpired that very day?to the both of you?to discuss? Sure, this can only last so long, before work becomes the last thing you want to talk about, but it’s key in the beginning.

The Allure of the Forbidden

Um, is there something hotter? When human resources tells you dating a coworker or colleague is frowned upon, that’s one thing; but, when they tell you it’s… forbidden… well, now that knockout you flirted with in the elevator the past few mornings has been instantaneously jettisoned from a cute start to your day to a must-have.

The post Dating A Coworker: Reasons to Actually Date a Colleague! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(617) "

Who did you date throughout high school and college? Classmates probably, right? The people you were around all day, every day. And when those relationships ended, sure, it got tricky. You had to take new routes to certain classes, maybe even a new seat in some of those classes, but it was all do-able. But […]

The post Dating A Coworker: Reasons to Actually Date a Colleague! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9272) "

Who did you date throughout high school and college? Classmates probably, right? The people you were around all day, every day. And when those relationships ended, sure, it got tricky. You had to take new routes to certain classes, maybe even a new seat in some of those classes, but it was all do-able. But as adults, we can’t navigate the same waters with the same aplomb of teenager. Fact is, nearly 40 percent of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker. And a whopping 31 percent of office relationships result in marriage. So here are reasons why you should be pursuing exactly who everyone is telling you not to pursue.

Convenience

Much like the aforementioned classmate scenario, a coworker romance makes seeing each other… well… easy. No trying to squeeze in time together or “I got this work thing” to keep you apart?hell, she is your work thing. Sure, many companies, if not most, have rules against this sort of thing, but “fraternization” isn’t exactly what you had in mind anyway.

Insight

Getting to know the work version of a significant other before you get to know any of the other ones? Talk about key intel. You’ve seen her perform under pressure, interact with others and even laugh at workplace pranks when others are too serious to appreciate the minor distraction. This is the stuff of Jim and Pam (The Office?)

Carpool Opportunities

You know that frantic morning when your car won’t start or the morning greets you with a flat tire? Look who’s got a built-in ride to work. What’s more, if she’s stayed the night (or vice versa), it makes it even more of a likely scenario, and you’ll both save a boatload on gas. The downside? It could make things move much, much faster than they ordinarily would, but that’s the risk inherent in all of this, to be honest.

Copy Machine Sex

It’s clearly all the rage or it wouldn’t find its way into every office-based R-Rated movie or TV series on F/X. But, seriously, the stolen moments around the building with your now-significant other are what’s going to launch this relationship to the moon and back. You’ll now be looking forward to going to work like you never have before.

Good Gossip

Until you’re a full-blown couple, and everyone knows it, you’ve now got an ally behind enemy lines. Sure, this can get you all the company gossip you’d like but it can also get you the heads up on where certain promotions are, and what you’ve got to do to get said promotions. You’ve merged the personal with the professional already, so start reaping the rewards.

Exploration Skills

Once you’ve begun sneaking away into every nook and cranny of your workplace, you’re going to begin to know your way around it like no one else, save for the janitor. This same logic applies to the neighbor that everyone told you to stay away from, as they’re “too close for comfort” and all that mumbo jumbo a guy hears when, fact is, convenience and proximity are two pluses when it comes to dating?the very reason the “long distance relationships don’t work” theory was born. Date a neighbor and you’ll know your way in and out of backyards like nobody’s business. You’ll be the go-to guy when the zombie apocalypse goes down.

Real Life

That’s right, no profiles to write, no photos to upload, no tentative plans to meet at a Ruby Tuesday’s but you wind up leaving after she’s an hour late, certain she spied on you through the window and opted not to move forward. Scrap that entire misbegotten process. The closest you’ll get to online dating when it comes to dating a coworker is sending adorable (or, OK, filthy) memes to each other throughout the day.

Status

Haven’t you always found it odd that the very people who vocalize a disdain for inter-office dating, co-mingling, whatever hot word they plug in, are the same ones who are in awe of power couples? Well, how else would you attain that status without dating first? Heck, sometimes it can take a good long time to stick, like a couple of random hookups before you realize you might have something special here. But you do have the potential to be a power couple, too.

Commonalities

Yep, it’s as simple as that. You?ve also already learned things about each other, which is so much better than going into a possible relationship blind. How could there possibly be any of those awkward lulls in conversation that plague so many early dates when you’ve got what transpired that very day?to the both of you?to discuss? Sure, this can only last so long, before work becomes the last thing you want to talk about, but it’s key in the beginning.

The Allure of the Forbidden

Um, is there something hotter? When human resources tells you dating a coworker or colleague is frowned upon, that’s one thing; but, when they tell you it’s… forbidden… well, now that knockout you flirted with in the elevator the past few mornings has been instantaneously jettisoned from a cute start to your day to a must-have.

The post Dating A Coworker: Reasons to Actually Date a Colleague! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558361059) } [3]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(41) "4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend?s Ex" ["link"]=> string(79) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/20/4-ways-to-get-rid-of-your-girlfriends-ex/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 20 May 2019 12:44:42 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(32) "Dating IssuesExget ridgirlfriend" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2260" ["description"]=> string(571) "

So, you have a girlfriend. Awesome. No life as lonely old hermit for you, eh? Nope, you have a reason to bathe and not turn the hose on neighborhood kids who step on your lawn. You have love! And you must protect it at all costs. Your girlfriend?s ex is out there somewhere and he may […]

The post 4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6789) "

So, you have a girlfriend. Awesome. No life as lonely old hermit for you, eh? Nope, you have a reason to bathe and not turn the hose on neighborhood kids who step on your lawn. You have love! And you must protect it at all costs. Your girlfriend?s ex is out there somewhere and he may be trying to snag her back for fear that he?s on a precipice of hiking his pants up to his ample bosom, eating butterscotch candies while he waits for a bus and furiously masturbating his way towards rheumatoid arthritis. But you are better than him! Remove him immediately.

Humane Trap

Live animal traps were designed to catch pests without harming them. It?s a wire cage that you bait with food. When the vermin takes food off the trip plate, the door closes and they are confined inside. Nothing in that description precludes trapping some asshole. Nothing.

The biggest hurdle you?ll face in humanely trapping your girlfriend?s ex is the fact few people if any are apt to simply crawl in a small animal cage. If your girlfriend?s ex is functionally retarded in some way, or abuses solvents, or maybe stops breathing spontaneously a lot and suffers the effects of oxygen deprivation, this task will be easier. If not, you?re going to need some epic bait.

Right off the bat you may think bacon, or beer, or boobies will be a suitable bait, but that?s probably a mistake. First, bacon will attract raccoons and skunks. Beer will attract the homeless. Boobies should never be left out lest they go stale.

If necessary, you should observe your target and gather information to assist you. When you get arrested after, and you probably will, this will be referred to as ?stalking? or, at the very least, harassment. Don?t let that dissuade you. If good men let laws stop them from acting irresponsibly, lord knows what our society would be without right now. Certainly anything ever invented at keg parties or during back alley MMA fights.

Once you?ve determined your target?s weakness, bait the trap in a place he frequents. He may be wary at first but c?mon. You know you?ll get him eventually. Once he?s in, drive him out to the country and let him go in the woods. Or toss him off a bridge. Whatever.

Larger Monkeys

In New Delhi, which we hear they moved to India, there?s an issue with monkeys. Follow along, it?s a fun story ? there?s a monkey god worshipped by some Hindus named Hanuman. Thanks to the influence of Hanuman, many actual monkeys are allowed to roam free in the streets and if you have ever wondered what happens when a monkey is allowed to grow bold and arrogant on the back of a god, wonder no longer ? monkeys become huge assholes. They literally attack people on the streets and in their homes, and are responsible for the death of the deputy mayor, who was run off the balcony of his home by a band of roving monkey hooligans.

Since no one will harm the monkeys and, in fact, many people leave food out to encourage the monkeys, the people less inclined to worship Hanuman had to come up with a novel solution to get rid of the monkey bastards ? more monkeys. They chain big monkeys to government buildings to scare away the smaller bastard monkeys. It?s a win-win situation that could never, ever go wrong in any monkey-related way.

What does any of this have to do with you? You need a monkey. Your girlfriend?s ex is most likely ill-equipped to fight off a monkey attack. Years of hilarious zoo visits and youtube video clips have convinced most of us that our simian friends are loveable pranksters when the cold, hard truth is that a chimpanzee could easily rip your arm off and shove it up your own ass. It literally could do that. And it will do that to your girlfriend?s ex.

Getting your own monkey won?t be easy thanks to the numerous laws against owning such creature, but please refer to the last section and our opinion on doing things legally.

Poisonous Plants

Any gardener can tell you a dozen ways to keep rodents out of your succulents ? you need to plant things like habanero peppers or poisonous mushrooms and shit. Or anti-personnel land mines. But that seems unnecessarily harsh. However, given that we?re just going to parlay this into a joke about getting rid of your girlfriend?s ex in like three paragraphs, let?s cut out the middle man and just go with explosives. Blow that sumbitch up. Illegal? Pfft, stop bringing that up, nancy.

Three Way

Don?t get all uptight about this idea, you?re the one with the problem here, we?re just trying to help. If you steadfastly refuse to engage in any criminal activity in order to solve this, you need to think hard about what you?re willing to do. And when we say threesome, the story isn?t ending there. That?s where shit begins. And where shit gets real.

To start with, you need to propose the idea of a threeway. Don?t mention it to your girlfriend, though. Either she already hates her ex and will be disgusted at your suggestion, or she?ll be cool with it and you?ll be the disgusted one. There?s no feedback she can offer that will make this better, so leave her out for now. You need to approach Ned or whatever his name is and just lay it all out. Choose one of these ice breakers;

? Listen dude, I think we should f*ck.
? We were talking and decided that D and P are the best letters in the alphabet. Your thoughts?
? Hey bro, I know we have our differences, but we also have man holes. Check and mate.
? Did you read this article on Holy Taco about getting rid of your girlfriend?s ex? I did, but I ignored all the advice except about wanting to pork her ex. That means you, tiger.

This is all good stuff and sets the stage for the next phase. Either her ex will find this interaction somewhat offputting and will no longer want to come around, or he?ll be totally into it. Don?t fret, we can work with that, too. Just means we have to become even more offputting. More offputting than that man hole line. If he?s down for the threesome plan, all you need to do is rent a donkey or ask if his mom is free. 90% chance that?ll end everything right there. If that doesn?t work, you need to leave your girlfriend, because she dated this guy and she is therefore quite unclean.

The post 4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(571) "

So, you have a girlfriend. Awesome. No life as lonely old hermit for you, eh? Nope, you have a reason to bathe and not turn the hose on neighborhood kids who step on your lawn. You have love! And you must protect it at all costs. Your girlfriend?s ex is out there somewhere and he may […]

The post 4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6789) "

So, you have a girlfriend. Awesome. No life as lonely old hermit for you, eh? Nope, you have a reason to bathe and not turn the hose on neighborhood kids who step on your lawn. You have love! And you must protect it at all costs. Your girlfriend?s ex is out there somewhere and he may be trying to snag her back for fear that he?s on a precipice of hiking his pants up to his ample bosom, eating butterscotch candies while he waits for a bus and furiously masturbating his way towards rheumatoid arthritis. But you are better than him! Remove him immediately.

Humane Trap

Live animal traps were designed to catch pests without harming them. It?s a wire cage that you bait with food. When the vermin takes food off the trip plate, the door closes and they are confined inside. Nothing in that description precludes trapping some asshole. Nothing.

The biggest hurdle you?ll face in humanely trapping your girlfriend?s ex is the fact few people if any are apt to simply crawl in a small animal cage. If your girlfriend?s ex is functionally retarded in some way, or abuses solvents, or maybe stops breathing spontaneously a lot and suffers the effects of oxygen deprivation, this task will be easier. If not, you?re going to need some epic bait.

Right off the bat you may think bacon, or beer, or boobies will be a suitable bait, but that?s probably a mistake. First, bacon will attract raccoons and skunks. Beer will attract the homeless. Boobies should never be left out lest they go stale.

If necessary, you should observe your target and gather information to assist you. When you get arrested after, and you probably will, this will be referred to as ?stalking? or, at the very least, harassment. Don?t let that dissuade you. If good men let laws stop them from acting irresponsibly, lord knows what our society would be without right now. Certainly anything ever invented at keg parties or during back alley MMA fights.

Once you?ve determined your target?s weakness, bait the trap in a place he frequents. He may be wary at first but c?mon. You know you?ll get him eventually. Once he?s in, drive him out to the country and let him go in the woods. Or toss him off a bridge. Whatever.

Larger Monkeys

In New Delhi, which we hear they moved to India, there?s an issue with monkeys. Follow along, it?s a fun story ? there?s a monkey god worshipped by some Hindus named Hanuman. Thanks to the influence of Hanuman, many actual monkeys are allowed to roam free in the streets and if you have ever wondered what happens when a monkey is allowed to grow bold and arrogant on the back of a god, wonder no longer ? monkeys become huge assholes. They literally attack people on the streets and in their homes, and are responsible for the death of the deputy mayor, who was run off the balcony of his home by a band of roving monkey hooligans.

Since no one will harm the monkeys and, in fact, many people leave food out to encourage the monkeys, the people less inclined to worship Hanuman had to come up with a novel solution to get rid of the monkey bastards ? more monkeys. They chain big monkeys to government buildings to scare away the smaller bastard monkeys. It?s a win-win situation that could never, ever go wrong in any monkey-related way.

What does any of this have to do with you? You need a monkey. Your girlfriend?s ex is most likely ill-equipped to fight off a monkey attack. Years of hilarious zoo visits and youtube video clips have convinced most of us that our simian friends are loveable pranksters when the cold, hard truth is that a chimpanzee could easily rip your arm off and shove it up your own ass. It literally could do that. And it will do that to your girlfriend?s ex.

Getting your own monkey won?t be easy thanks to the numerous laws against owning such creature, but please refer to the last section and our opinion on doing things legally.

Poisonous Plants

Any gardener can tell you a dozen ways to keep rodents out of your succulents ? you need to plant things like habanero peppers or poisonous mushrooms and shit. Or anti-personnel land mines. But that seems unnecessarily harsh. However, given that we?re just going to parlay this into a joke about getting rid of your girlfriend?s ex in like three paragraphs, let?s cut out the middle man and just go with explosives. Blow that sumbitch up. Illegal? Pfft, stop bringing that up, nancy.

Three Way

Don?t get all uptight about this idea, you?re the one with the problem here, we?re just trying to help. If you steadfastly refuse to engage in any criminal activity in order to solve this, you need to think hard about what you?re willing to do. And when we say threesome, the story isn?t ending there. That?s where shit begins. And where shit gets real.

To start with, you need to propose the idea of a threeway. Don?t mention it to your girlfriend, though. Either she already hates her ex and will be disgusted at your suggestion, or she?ll be cool with it and you?ll be the disgusted one. There?s no feedback she can offer that will make this better, so leave her out for now. You need to approach Ned or whatever his name is and just lay it all out. Choose one of these ice breakers;

? Listen dude, I think we should f*ck.
? We were talking and decided that D and P are the best letters in the alphabet. Your thoughts?
? Hey bro, I know we have our differences, but we also have man holes. Check and mate.
? Did you read this article on Holy Taco about getting rid of your girlfriend?s ex? I did, but I ignored all the advice except about wanting to pork her ex. That means you, tiger.

This is all good stuff and sets the stage for the next phase. Either her ex will find this interaction somewhat offputting and will no longer want to come around, or he?ll be totally into it. Don?t fret, we can work with that, too. Just means we have to become even more offputting. More offputting than that man hole line. If he?s down for the threesome plan, all you need to do is rent a donkey or ask if his mom is free. 90% chance that?ll end everything right there. If that doesn?t work, you need to leave your girlfriend, because she dated this guy and she is therefore quite unclean.

The post 4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558356282) } [4]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(50) "5 Reasons Why I Love Being Single And Why It Sucks" ["link"]=> string(89) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/20/5-reasons-why-i-love-being-single-and-why-it-sucks/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 20 May 2019 12:23:45 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(41) "Being Singlebeing singlesinglesingle life" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2250" ["description"]=> string(581) "

5.) Not Having To Go Out Why it rules: After an unexpectedly hard day there is little I?d rather do then have to come home, get cleaned up, hop in the car and trudge though a throng of people to have over-priced under re-heated frozen food. I do not want to wait 45 minutes amongst […]

The post 5 Reasons Why I Love Being Single And Why It Sucks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7356) "

5.) Not Having To Go Out

Why it rules:

After an unexpectedly hard day there is little I?d rather do then have to come home, get cleaned up, hop in the car and trudge though a throng of people to have over-priced under re-heated frozen food. I do not want to wait 45 minutes amongst families with screaming children or the local Red Hat Society in the lobby of Olive Garden.

When single, there are no ?date-nights? that started out as a creative way to spend time together but quickly turned into a prison sentence. There are no mandatory dinners at the parent?s house. You don?t have to confront the drunken idiots at the bar that are hitting on your girlfriend. Instead you are free to stay home, draw a bath, read a book, catch up on your TiVo backlog, set a personal record on finishing Final Fantasy 7 or whatever else might fancy you.

Why it sucks:

When you do want to go out it becomes quite apparent how depressing dining alone can be. At most establishments you?re either treated as a leper, ?Just one?? or like a child that needs extra attention ?Hiiiiiiiii, can I get you more water? You know, how about some soup?on the house sweetheart.?

4.) Being The Ruler Of Your Domain

Why it rules:

You have the entire space to yourself. You can do whatever you?d like whenever you?d like. There is not a single thing that anyone can do or say that you have to heed to. You wanna sit on the couch at 2PM in your Spider-Man undies eating Lucky Charms?.go for it. You want to move a mini-fridge filled with PBR into the bedroom so you can grab a cold one in the middle of watching Old School (for the 8th time in 8 weeks), you do that!

Why it sucks:

So you have the place to yourself. It?s all yours?no one to make demands of you. No one to ask you to pick up the towels. This is all good and well until that fateful night when the spicy pork rinds that went down so easily during the WoW all-nighter suddenly decide they don?t want to finish the transaction and are know making your stomach feel as if it?s in the apocalyptic battle of hell.

It is now evident that there is literally no one around to help you in this moment of excruciating pain. No one to go out and get proper medicine. No one to rub your back. No one to cook a nice warm meal for you once you?re able to stomach food again. Instead you?re left there writhing in agony until you can get past the humiliation of having to call your mom to come over.

3.) No One To  Buy Gifts For

Why it rules:

Oh man?Valentine?s Day, Christmas, birthdays?..you will save so much money when you don?t have to buy presents on these days. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are none of the crap house warming parties that you are not only forced to go to but forced to pick up a bottle of wine to bring or Niece Nicole?s 2nd birthday party that you will have to spend $50 (which is more than you?d spend on yourself by the way) for an outfit that she?ll wear maybe 5 times before it?s too small.

That?s not even mentioning those times when it wasn?t even a holiday, wasn?t a anniversary, you did nothing wrong?but some how you got in trouble for not bringing a gift home ?just because.? That is the single most frustrating argument you will ever have?it goes nowhere and no one wins?.expect the single guy.

Why it sucks:

It is certainly a sad Christmas when you come to grips that the only presents you receive are deemed ?useful? and things that ?you need honey.? Yeah, sure your sock drawer is full now and you can throw out your ratty boxers but how many George Foreman grills can one get? Being single you have no one to supplement the horrible gift receiving that creeps in as adulthood commences.

2.) No Pressure To Wash The Dishes

Why it rules:

So what if there are 9 bowls half filled with Ramen, Kraft Mac & Cheese or Cinnamon Life?let ?em soak a little longer, it?s not gonna hurt anything. Plus the one bowl of Ramen has only been sitting there since last night and you can totally use it again for dinner?no worries. Also who cares how you load the dish washer, that thing just sprays all all over the place anyways. They?ll all get cleaned good enough. It?s not like your eating with the Queen, they don?t have to be spotless.

Why it sucks:

When you do actually need a dish there is no one else to fall back on?.you?re going to have to knuckle down, grab a trash bag, toss everything out?and head down to Target to replenish your supply of eatingware.

1.) Having The Entire Bed To Yourself

Why it rules:

Ahh?.a nice comfortable bed all to yourself, there is nothing better in the World. Spread out, take your trunks off, kick the extra pillows to the floor. Never ever worry about making the bed. The quality of your night?s rest will lie squarely on your shoulders?or back rather. There is no one snoring next to you. No kicking you in the middle of the night. No one waking up every 2 hours to use the restroom. No one setting the alarm for 6AM because they have to go to ?work.? And you don?t even have to do the sheets because you got more than a few sets as gifts at your last birthday.

Why it sucks:

You are in a bed by yourself?need I say more?

The post 5 Reasons Why I Love Being Single And Why It Sucks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(581) "

5.) Not Having To Go Out Why it rules: After an unexpectedly hard day there is little I?d rather do then have to come home, get cleaned up, hop in the car and trudge though a throng of people to have over-priced under re-heated frozen food. I do not want to wait 45 minutes amongst […]

The post 5 Reasons Why I Love Being Single And Why It Sucks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7356) "

5.) Not Having To Go Out

Why it rules:

After an unexpectedly hard day there is little I?d rather do then have to come home, get cleaned up, hop in the car and trudge though a throng of people to have over-priced under re-heated frozen food. I do not want to wait 45 minutes amongst families with screaming children or the local Red Hat Society in the lobby of Olive Garden.

When single, there are no ?date-nights? that started out as a creative way to spend time together but quickly turned into a prison sentence. There are no mandatory dinners at the parent?s house. You don?t have to confront the drunken idiots at the bar that are hitting on your girlfriend. Instead you are free to stay home, draw a bath, read a book, catch up on your TiVo backlog, set a personal record on finishing Final Fantasy 7 or whatever else might fancy you.

Why it sucks:

When you do want to go out it becomes quite apparent how depressing dining alone can be. At most establishments you?re either treated as a leper, ?Just one?? or like a child that needs extra attention ?Hiiiiiiiii, can I get you more water? You know, how about some soup?on the house sweetheart.?

4.) Being The Ruler Of Your Domain

Why it rules:

You have the entire space to yourself. You can do whatever you?d like whenever you?d like. There is not a single thing that anyone can do or say that you have to heed to. You wanna sit on the couch at 2PM in your Spider-Man undies eating Lucky Charms?.go for it. You want to move a mini-fridge filled with PBR into the bedroom so you can grab a cold one in the middle of watching Old School (for the 8th time in 8 weeks), you do that!

Why it sucks:

So you have the place to yourself. It?s all yours?no one to make demands of you. No one to ask you to pick up the towels. This is all good and well until that fateful night when the spicy pork rinds that went down so easily during the WoW all-nighter suddenly decide they don?t want to finish the transaction and are know making your stomach feel as if it?s in the apocalyptic battle of hell.

It is now evident that there is literally no one around to help you in this moment of excruciating pain. No one to go out and get proper medicine. No one to rub your back. No one to cook a nice warm meal for you once you?re able to stomach food again. Instead you?re left there writhing in agony until you can get past the humiliation of having to call your mom to come over.

3.) No One To  Buy Gifts For

Why it rules:

Oh man?Valentine?s Day, Christmas, birthdays?..you will save so much money when you don?t have to buy presents on these days. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are none of the crap house warming parties that you are not only forced to go to but forced to pick up a bottle of wine to bring or Niece Nicole?s 2nd birthday party that you will have to spend $50 (which is more than you?d spend on yourself by the way) for an outfit that she?ll wear maybe 5 times before it?s too small.

That?s not even mentioning those times when it wasn?t even a holiday, wasn?t a anniversary, you did nothing wrong?but some how you got in trouble for not bringing a gift home ?just because.? That is the single most frustrating argument you will ever have?it goes nowhere and no one wins?.expect the single guy.

Why it sucks:

It is certainly a sad Christmas when you come to grips that the only presents you receive are deemed ?useful? and things that ?you need honey.? Yeah, sure your sock drawer is full now and you can throw out your ratty boxers but how many George Foreman grills can one get? Being single you have no one to supplement the horrible gift receiving that creeps in as adulthood commences.

2.) No Pressure To Wash The Dishes

Why it rules:

So what if there are 9 bowls half filled with Ramen, Kraft Mac & Cheese or Cinnamon Life?let ?em soak a little longer, it?s not gonna hurt anything. Plus the one bowl of Ramen has only been sitting there since last night and you can totally use it again for dinner?no worries. Also who cares how you load the dish washer, that thing just sprays all all over the place anyways. They?ll all get cleaned good enough. It?s not like your eating with the Queen, they don?t have to be spotless.

Why it sucks:

When you do actually need a dish there is no one else to fall back on?.you?re going to have to knuckle down, grab a trash bag, toss everything out?and head down to Target to replenish your supply of eatingware.

1.) Having The Entire Bed To Yourself

Why it rules:

Ahh?.a nice comfortable bed all to yourself, there is nothing better in the World. Spread out, take your trunks off, kick the extra pillows to the floor. Never ever worry about making the bed. The quality of your night?s rest will lie squarely on your shoulders?or back rather. There is no one snoring next to you. No kicking you in the middle of the night. No one waking up every 2 hours to use the restroom. No one setting the alarm for 6AM because they have to go to ?work.? And you don?t even have to do the sheets because you got more than a few sets as gifts at your last birthday.

Why it sucks:

You are in a bed by yourself?need I say more?

The post 5 Reasons Why I Love Being Single And Why It Sucks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558355025) } [5]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(49) "What Your Boyfriend?s Fridge Says About Your Date" ["link"]=> string(87) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/20/what-your-boyfriends-fridge-says-about-your-date/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 20 May 2019 12:09:42 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(37) "Interestingfridgehumourinterestingmen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2247" ["description"]=> string(632) "

This lil? list is not intended for the random late-night guest so much as the lady you?re hoping becomes a fixture. These items make her feel comfortable, safe and maybe even a little turned on. We know, weird, but have faith. You?ll thank us later?and she will, too. Creamer Not only does this say coffee is served come morning, […]

The post What Your Boyfriend’s Fridge Says About Your Date appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3784) "

This lil? list is not intended for the random late-night guest so much as the lady you?re hoping becomes a fixture. These items make her feel comfortable, safe and maybe even a little turned on. We know, weird, but have faith. You?ll thank us later?and she will, too.

Creamer

Not only does this say coffee is served come morning, it also says ?I think ahead? (i.e. ?I have a condom,? ?There will be toilet paper?) and somuch more. Nobody?s talking flavors here, as if a peppermint mocha versus French vanilla debate lay in wait?just a good ol? carton of Half ?n? Half will do.

Juice

Whether it?s your basic jug of OJ or a high-end fruit-and-vegetable blend, something that can either hydrate come morning or merge with vodka the night before is a thing of beauty. But don?t get it twisted when it comes to the latter: What she really doesn?twant to see is three shelves overflowing with beer. Seriously, Otter. This ain?t Animal House. Juice says ?welcome? more than the mat that actually has the word written on it.

Eggs

Hey, you probably began this whole sordid thing with an agonizing ?Do you like your eggs scrambled or over easy? come-on, so why not be able to actually deliver now that the occasion may call for it? Eggs also say yours is not a steady diet of Mickey D?s?and you?re not totally hopeless in the kitchen.

Fresh Fruits and Veggies

She?ll be ecstatic over that bag of apples, bowl of grapes or even some baby carrots or peppers. These things tends to send the message?if you?re in pretty good shape?that you?re health-conscious. Meanwhile, if the fridge is stuffed with junk food and you?re jacked, she?s just going to go away thinking the clock?s ticking on that rocking bod. And you on hers.

Salad Dressing

You regard it as a fab burger topping? Fine. And, hell, she doesn?t need to know that. Fact is, you?ve got something other than a no-name tube of mustard and that already sets you apart from much of your beer-swilling, bratwurst-chomping brethren. And if it just so happens that you?re down with greens or even just looking out for the ladies that pass on through, all the better.

Meat in the Freezer

Now this can?t be something that?s so iced over you can?t make out if it?s a coupla steaks or some pork chops. All freezer burn says is ?at one time or another I didgive a shit.? But a recent steak, or even chicken, purchase and it?s cozily sitting things out ?til you pop it on the grill? She?ll bring the red, brother.

Ice Cream

In some states this might be considered bait. She?ll melt at the sight of a pint of Cherry Garcia. That?s just fact. Again, watch out for the frosty sheen, though. When it comes to ice cream, too, you do want to be cognizant of name brands. A gallon of boring vanilla or chocolate that?s clearly the cheapest at the grocery store says ?I?m cheap and will be fat,? whereas a pint of Ben & Jerry?s or Häagen-Daz says ?I take ice cream seriously.? Either that or ?I get laid often.?

Arm & Hammer

Any baking soda will probably do, but that reassuring Arm & Hammer logo gives a gal real peace of mind. Which means she?ll be more likely to give you a piece of her heart?or body.

 

The post What Your Boyfriend’s Fridge Says About Your Date appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(632) "

This lil? list is not intended for the random late-night guest so much as the lady you?re hoping becomes a fixture. These items make her feel comfortable, safe and maybe even a little turned on. We know, weird, but have faith. You?ll thank us later?and she will, too. Creamer Not only does this say coffee is served come morning, […]

The post What Your Boyfriend’s Fridge Says About Your Date appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3784) "

This lil? list is not intended for the random late-night guest so much as the lady you?re hoping becomes a fixture. These items make her feel comfortable, safe and maybe even a little turned on. We know, weird, but have faith. You?ll thank us later?and she will, too.

Creamer

Not only does this say coffee is served come morning, it also says ?I think ahead? (i.e. ?I have a condom,? ?There will be toilet paper?) and somuch more. Nobody?s talking flavors here, as if a peppermint mocha versus French vanilla debate lay in wait?just a good ol? carton of Half ?n? Half will do.

Juice

Whether it?s your basic jug of OJ or a high-end fruit-and-vegetable blend, something that can either hydrate come morning or merge with vodka the night before is a thing of beauty. But don?t get it twisted when it comes to the latter: What she really doesn?twant to see is three shelves overflowing with beer. Seriously, Otter. This ain?t Animal House. Juice says ?welcome? more than the mat that actually has the word written on it.

Eggs

Hey, you probably began this whole sordid thing with an agonizing ?Do you like your eggs scrambled or over easy? come-on, so why not be able to actually deliver now that the occasion may call for it? Eggs also say yours is not a steady diet of Mickey D?s?and you?re not totally hopeless in the kitchen.

Fresh Fruits and Veggies

She?ll be ecstatic over that bag of apples, bowl of grapes or even some baby carrots or peppers. These things tends to send the message?if you?re in pretty good shape?that you?re health-conscious. Meanwhile, if the fridge is stuffed with junk food and you?re jacked, she?s just going to go away thinking the clock?s ticking on that rocking bod. And you on hers.

Salad Dressing

You regard it as a fab burger topping? Fine. And, hell, she doesn?t need to know that. Fact is, you?ve got something other than a no-name tube of mustard and that already sets you apart from much of your beer-swilling, bratwurst-chomping brethren. And if it just so happens that you?re down with greens or even just looking out for the ladies that pass on through, all the better.

Meat in the Freezer

Now this can?t be something that?s so iced over you can?t make out if it?s a coupla steaks or some pork chops. All freezer burn says is ?at one time or another I didgive a shit.? But a recent steak, or even chicken, purchase and it?s cozily sitting things out ?til you pop it on the grill? She?ll bring the red, brother.

Ice Cream

In some states this might be considered bait. She?ll melt at the sight of a pint of Cherry Garcia. That?s just fact. Again, watch out for the frosty sheen, though. When it comes to ice cream, too, you do want to be cognizant of name brands. A gallon of boring vanilla or chocolate that?s clearly the cheapest at the grocery store says ?I?m cheap and will be fat,? whereas a pint of Ben & Jerry?s or Häagen-Daz says ?I take ice cream seriously.? Either that or ?I get laid often.?

Arm & Hammer

Any baking soda will probably do, but that reassuring Arm & Hammer logo gives a gal real peace of mind. Which means she?ll be more likely to give you a piece of her heart?or body.

 

The post What Your Boyfriend’s Fridge Says About Your Date appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1558354182) } [6]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(66) "Meeting Girlfriend?s Parents: How To Impress Her Mother And Father" ["link"]=> string(66) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/15/meeting-girlfriends-parents/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 15 May 2019 13:18:29 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["category"]=> string(61) "Dating AdviceFriends And Familyfamilygirlfriendmeetingparents" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2235" ["description"]=> string(593) "

Her: ?You know, Honey, I?m really happy we?re together. I love that you like to spend a rainy Sunday reading a book instead of watching hours of football. I love that you don?t mind shopping with me. I love that you totally agree with me that Daughtry?s the best rock singer ever.? You:  ?Um, I […]

The post Meeting Girlfriend’s Parents: How To Impress Her Mother And Father appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9540) "

Her: ?You know, Honey, I?m really happy we?re together. I love that you like to spend a rainy Sunday reading a book instead of watching hours of football. I love that you don?t mind shopping with me. I love that you totally agree with me that Daughtry?s the best rock singer ever.?

You:  ?Um, I never said that. You think Daughtry can sing. I think he?s a rip-off. I?m waiting for Bowie to come back to town, but anyway??

Her: ?So, listen, I?ve been thinking ? since we?ve been seeing each other for three whole months and we?re so compatible and doing so well and all, I thought it?d be nice to have you  meet my parents.?

You: ???

Her:  ?My folks are really great and they?ve been asking me to bring you by for dinner.?

You: ???

Her:  ?Honey?  Baby?!  Dar-ling?!?!  Can you hear me?  Did you fall a-sleep?  Good God, You’ve passed out!!! You need a washcloth!!!  You need oxygen!!! You need a doctor ? stat!!!?

Look, you dig her.  You share the same interests. She makes you laugh. She thinks you?re funny, even when you do that Chris Farley In-A-Van-Down-By-The-River schtick for the three hundredth time. She looks killer in her jeans, wears the hell out of strapless dress and is puts a downright hurt on a pair of leather boots. Your friends think she?s hot and cool. You?ve been having some serious thoughts about her? like a future. And, my man, part of that future includes her parents.

Now before you recall Ben Stiller and get your boxers in a bunch thinking how you?d handle her Dad if he?s anything like Robert DeNiro, Be Better Guys is going to use our experience to help you get through this, how shall we say, massive moment of potential discomfort.

There is But One, and Only One, Mission.

Get Mom to love you and Dad to accept you. Keep this in mind at all times and remember, you?re the one who?s with their beloved daughter day in and day out now that she?s all grow?ed up. Ultimately, they want to like you as much you want to like them; it?s in their best interest to like you (unless you lead a biker gang and run a fight club out of a warehouse in East Oakland). Mom and Dad want to get to know the guy their daughter loves? and sleeps with. Everyone?s feeling each other out here, kind of like when you deep-sea dive with a school of tiger sharks, they?re as curious about you as you are about them. It?s your job to make sure they know you don?t bite.

Know Some History.

If you?ve been with your girl for more than 3 and ½ hours, you probably know if her parents have been together for a while, are re-married (and are now on the 4th go ?round), have other kids (like her brother who was the inspiration for the weird dude in black from ?The Wedding Crashers?), and maybe even what they do for a living (Dad, a retired Army Major General, Mom, a corporate CEO ? tough couple). It?s OK to ask your woman in advance if Mom?s serious and stoic or Dad?s funny and likes a good party (like party Dads Hugh Hefner, David Hasselhoff and Nick Nolte). Better to get the ?situational awareness? before going in than asking Dad what his favorite Scotch is, only to find out he?s a recovering alcoholic who?s been on the wagon for 13 years. Who?s your girl closer to, Mom or Dad? If you don?t know the basics, have your girl brush you up so you don?t go in unprepared and come out like a complete boob .

Get to Know Mom.

Mom could be your biggest ally. Period. In most homes, Mom runs the show, no matter how much Dad thinks he?s in control.  She?s the one who will lobby for you if you get on Dad?s bad side. Plus she?ll be the one who calls you to invite you for future dinners and family stuff. Politically, go straight for Mom.  She?s ?El Jefe.?

Get to Know Dad.

Ever heard the phrase ?Daddy?s Little Girl?? That?s who you?re sleeping with every night, Pumpkin. You are replacing Dad as the man in your girl?s world. Understand how important this is to Dad and show him what a Better Guy you really are.

What To Bring.

You know never to arrive empty-handed, however the best thing to bring is flowers.  Present them to Mom. Assuming it’s appropriate (reference ?Know Some History? above), it?s also nice to bring a bottle of wine. Doesn?t have to be cellar material, just something that could be uncorked with dinner.

The Right Way to Exit.

Shake hands firmly and confidently with both Mom and Dad and thank them profusely for their warmth and generosity for inviting you into their home. Mean it. Look ?em dead in the eye when you do.  If they offer to hug it out instead, you just got the seal of approval. If they kiss you, you just won the lottery (especially if it?s Dad who plants one on you). You can now go home and ?celebrate? with their daughter — job well done.

Send a thank-you note.

Send it out the very next day. On nice stationery and not some cheesy Hallmark ?Thanks!? card. Make it brief, and say what a pleasure it was to meet them, how much you appreciated their hospitality, and how you?d love to take Dad up on his offer to hit the fairway at Daddy?s club next weekend.

Mom and Dad want the best for their girl. It?s a tough world out there and they want to know that their little girl?s in safe, responsible, respectable hands. You have to nail that initial first impression, show good manners, and muster up some genuine interest in these people. You may actually like them? at least enough to survive the potential annual nine-hour Thanksgiving extravaganza in your future.

The post Meeting Girlfriend’s Parents: How To Impress Her Mother And Father appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(593) "

Her: ?You know, Honey, I?m really happy we?re together. I love that you like to spend a rainy Sunday reading a book instead of watching hours of football. I love that you don?t mind shopping with me. I love that you totally agree with me that Daughtry?s the best rock singer ever.? You:  ?Um, I […]

The post Meeting Girlfriend’s Parents: How To Impress Her Mother And Father appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9540) "

Her: ?You know, Honey, I?m really happy we?re together. I love that you like to spend a rainy Sunday reading a book instead of watching hours of football. I love that you don?t mind shopping with me. I love that you totally agree with me that Daughtry?s the best rock singer ever.?

You:  ?Um, I never said that. You think Daughtry can sing. I think he?s a rip-off. I?m waiting for Bowie to come back to town, but anyway??

Her: ?So, listen, I?ve been thinking ? since we?ve been seeing each other for three whole months and we?re so compatible and doing so well and all, I thought it?d be nice to have you  meet my parents.?

You: ???

Her:  ?My folks are really great and they?ve been asking me to bring you by for dinner.?

You: ???

Her:  ?Honey?  Baby?!  Dar-ling?!?!  Can you hear me?  Did you fall a-sleep?  Good God, You’ve passed out!!! You need a washcloth!!!  You need oxygen!!! You need a doctor ? stat!!!?

Look, you dig her.  You share the same interests. She makes you laugh. She thinks you?re funny, even when you do that Chris Farley In-A-Van-Down-By-The-River schtick for the three hundredth time. She looks killer in her jeans, wears the hell out of strapless dress and is puts a downright hurt on a pair of leather boots. Your friends think she?s hot and cool. You?ve been having some serious thoughts about her? like a future. And, my man, part of that future includes her parents.

Now before you recall Ben Stiller and get your boxers in a bunch thinking how you?d handle her Dad if he?s anything like Robert DeNiro, Be Better Guys is going to use our experience to help you get through this, how shall we say, massive moment of potential discomfort.

There is But One, and Only One, Mission.

Get Mom to love you and Dad to accept you. Keep this in mind at all times and remember, you?re the one who?s with their beloved daughter day in and day out now that she?s all grow?ed up. Ultimately, they want to like you as much you want to like them; it?s in their best interest to like you (unless you lead a biker gang and run a fight club out of a warehouse in East Oakland). Mom and Dad want to get to know the guy their daughter loves? and sleeps with. Everyone?s feeling each other out here, kind of like when you deep-sea dive with a school of tiger sharks, they?re as curious about you as you are about them. It?s your job to make sure they know you don?t bite.

Know Some History.

If you?ve been with your girl for more than 3 and ½ hours, you probably know if her parents have been together for a while, are re-married (and are now on the 4th go ?round), have other kids (like her brother who was the inspiration for the weird dude in black from ?The Wedding Crashers?), and maybe even what they do for a living (Dad, a retired Army Major General, Mom, a corporate CEO ? tough couple). It?s OK to ask your woman in advance if Mom?s serious and stoic or Dad?s funny and likes a good party (like party Dads Hugh Hefner, David Hasselhoff and Nick Nolte). Better to get the ?situational awareness? before going in than asking Dad what his favorite Scotch is, only to find out he?s a recovering alcoholic who?s been on the wagon for 13 years. Who?s your girl closer to, Mom or Dad? If you don?t know the basics, have your girl brush you up so you don?t go in unprepared and come out like a complete boob .

Get to Know Mom.

Mom could be your biggest ally. Period. In most homes, Mom runs the show, no matter how much Dad thinks he?s in control.  She?s the one who will lobby for you if you get on Dad?s bad side. Plus she?ll be the one who calls you to invite you for future dinners and family stuff. Politically, go straight for Mom.  She?s ?El Jefe.?

Get to Know Dad.

Ever heard the phrase ?Daddy?s Little Girl?? That?s who you?re sleeping with every night, Pumpkin. You are replacing Dad as the man in your girl?s world. Understand how important this is to Dad and show him what a Better Guy you really are.

What To Bring.

You know never to arrive empty-handed, however the best thing to bring is flowers.  Present them to Mom. Assuming it’s appropriate (reference ?Know Some History? above), it?s also nice to bring a bottle of wine. Doesn?t have to be cellar material, just something that could be uncorked with dinner.

The Right Way to Exit.

Shake hands firmly and confidently with both Mom and Dad and thank them profusely for their warmth and generosity for inviting you into their home. Mean it. Look ?em dead in the eye when you do.  If they offer to hug it out instead, you just got the seal of approval. If they kiss you, you just won the lottery (especially if it?s Dad who plants one on you). You can now go home and ?celebrate? with their daughter — job well done.

Send a thank-you note.

Send it out the very next day. On nice stationery and not some cheesy Hallmark ?Thanks!? card. Make it brief, and say what a pleasure it was to meet them, how much you appreciated their hospitality, and how you?d love to take Dad up on his offer to hit the fairway at Daddy?s club next weekend.

Mom and Dad want the best for their girl. It?s a tough world out there and they want to know that their little girl?s in safe, responsible, respectable hands. You have to nail that initial first impression, show good manners, and muster up some genuine interest in these people. You may actually like them? at least enough to survive the potential annual nine-hour Thanksgiving extravaganza in your future.

The post Meeting Girlfriend’s Parents: How To Impress Her Mother And Father appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1557926309) } [7]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(56) "Childfree Dating: Reason Why Men Choose Not To Have Kids" ["link"]=> string(99) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/15/childfree-dating-reason-why-men-%d1%81hoose-not-to-have-kids/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 15 May 2019 12:50:14 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(54) "Friends And Familychildfreefamilyhusbandkidsmenreasons" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2231" ["description"]=> string(647) "

More and more men are staying childfree by choice, not chance. Here’s a case for ignoring the stigma around childlessness. Guys who choose not to have kids are at a societal disadvantage. Hollywood portrays fatherhood as a heroic act. The tax system favors parents. People who want to be parents think childfree guys are just […]

The post Childfree Dating: Reason Why Men Choose Not To Have Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4855) "

More and more men are staying childfree by choice, not chance. Here’s a case for ignoring the stigma around childlessness.

Guys who choose not to have kids are at a societal disadvantage. Hollywood portrays fatherhood as a heroic act. The tax system favors parents. People who want to be parents think childfree guys are just selfish. But more and more guys are choosing to opt for a childfree existence rather than take on the responsibility of parenthood. A recent study of Harvard graduates found that one-third have chosen to stay childless. In the UK, a study of the general male population put the figure at 30%. In Norway?a country with one of the highest birth rates in the world?the number of men who are childless at age 45 rose from 14 percent in 1985 to 25 percent in 2018.

Clearly the stigma that goes along with childlessness is fading. Here are some of the top reasons men are staying child-free by choice, not chance:

To Be A Better Husband.

A child won?t necessarily make your relationship with your wife better. It could make it worse. Childfree couples can travel when the want; have sex when they want; and go out for a long night out without calling the babysitter. Having a child will not just mean increased responsibility but it also gives couples another thing to argue about. Not wanting to have children does not make a guy selfish; it makes him more focused on his relationship. And in the event of a relationship breakdown, childfree gents don?t run the risk of staying in a failed relationship for the kids or having their children go through a painful divorce.

Everybody with sperm doesn?t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn?t have to become an opera singer.

Career Comes First.

People used to question whether women could have it all: a successful career and children. But now that men are taking equal responsibility for the child-rearing, they too must make career sacrifices to become a father. The kind of guys who will sacrifice sleep and a social life to get ahead in the office are exactly the kind of guys who should consider a childfree life. Children will force you to alter your priorities. And if you don?t make your kids a top priority, they will resent you. Complete career focus requires forgoing kids. But focusing on one?s career isn?t as selfish as it sounds; your work may help a greater number of people than the number of kids you will have. As Francis Bacon once advised, ?the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried, or childless men.?

Kids Are Expensive.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimatesthat the average American family with an income level between about $60,000 and $105,000 per year will spend about $235,000 on a child. And that?s just the average kid. (Donating that $235,000 to charity will help many more people. Or you could embrace your selfish side and take long, expensive vacations or retire by 50.)

Too Much Pressure To Be A Good Parent.

Everybody with sperm doesn?t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn?t have to become an opera singer. Some people are just naturally better parents than others. Taking responsibility for another human life can be the ultimate anxiety trigger. If you?re the type of person who has to check three times to see if you?ve locked the door, the pressures of parenthood could be too much to handle. Parenthood is the ultimate Catch-22 ? leave them alone and they hurt themselves, watch every second to see if they?re breathing and they won?t be able to date or get a job.

Childfree Guys Are Happier.

Common wisdom tells us that children are the keys to happiness. Wrong. According to a Vanderbilt University study, people with kids report more depressive symptoms. This is even true when their kids have grown and left home, when the parents adopt, or when they don?t have custody of their children. This is not surprising. Parenthood is hard. It requires cleaning up vomit, forgoing sleep, and spending money on a person you may not even like. Forget the Leave It To Beaver vision of the nuclear family; most parents will at some point resent their children. The data is in: Happiness is a vasectomy.

The post Childfree Dating: Reason Why Men Choose Not To Have Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(647) "

More and more men are staying childfree by choice, not chance. Here’s a case for ignoring the stigma around childlessness. Guys who choose not to have kids are at a societal disadvantage. Hollywood portrays fatherhood as a heroic act. The tax system favors parents. People who want to be parents think childfree guys are just […]

The post Childfree Dating: Reason Why Men Choose Not To Have Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4855) "

More and more men are staying childfree by choice, not chance. Here’s a case for ignoring the stigma around childlessness.

Guys who choose not to have kids are at a societal disadvantage. Hollywood portrays fatherhood as a heroic act. The tax system favors parents. People who want to be parents think childfree guys are just selfish. But more and more guys are choosing to opt for a childfree existence rather than take on the responsibility of parenthood. A recent study of Harvard graduates found that one-third have chosen to stay childless. In the UK, a study of the general male population put the figure at 30%. In Norway?a country with one of the highest birth rates in the world?the number of men who are childless at age 45 rose from 14 percent in 1985 to 25 percent in 2018.

Clearly the stigma that goes along with childlessness is fading. Here are some of the top reasons men are staying child-free by choice, not chance:

To Be A Better Husband.

A child won?t necessarily make your relationship with your wife better. It could make it worse. Childfree couples can travel when the want; have sex when they want; and go out for a long night out without calling the babysitter. Having a child will not just mean increased responsibility but it also gives couples another thing to argue about. Not wanting to have children does not make a guy selfish; it makes him more focused on his relationship. And in the event of a relationship breakdown, childfree gents don?t run the risk of staying in a failed relationship for the kids or having their children go through a painful divorce.

Everybody with sperm doesn?t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn?t have to become an opera singer.

Career Comes First.

People used to question whether women could have it all: a successful career and children. But now that men are taking equal responsibility for the child-rearing, they too must make career sacrifices to become a father. The kind of guys who will sacrifice sleep and a social life to get ahead in the office are exactly the kind of guys who should consider a childfree life. Children will force you to alter your priorities. And if you don?t make your kids a top priority, they will resent you. Complete career focus requires forgoing kids. But focusing on one?s career isn?t as selfish as it sounds; your work may help a greater number of people than the number of kids you will have. As Francis Bacon once advised, ?the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried, or childless men.?

Kids Are Expensive.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimatesthat the average American family with an income level between about $60,000 and $105,000 per year will spend about $235,000 on a child. And that?s just the average kid. (Donating that $235,000 to charity will help many more people. Or you could embrace your selfish side and take long, expensive vacations or retire by 50.)

Too Much Pressure To Be A Good Parent.

Everybody with sperm doesn?t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn?t have to become an opera singer. Some people are just naturally better parents than others. Taking responsibility for another human life can be the ultimate anxiety trigger. If you?re the type of person who has to check three times to see if you?ve locked the door, the pressures of parenthood could be too much to handle. Parenthood is the ultimate Catch-22 ? leave them alone and they hurt themselves, watch every second to see if they?re breathing and they won?t be able to date or get a job.

Childfree Guys Are Happier.

Common wisdom tells us that children are the keys to happiness. Wrong. According to a Vanderbilt University study, people with kids report more depressive symptoms. This is even true when their kids have grown and left home, when the parents adopt, or when they don?t have custody of their children. This is not surprising. Parenthood is hard. It requires cleaning up vomit, forgoing sleep, and spending money on a person you may not even like. Forget the Leave It To Beaver vision of the nuclear family; most parents will at some point resent their children. The data is in: Happiness is a vasectomy.

The post Childfree Dating: Reason Why Men Choose Not To Have Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1557924614) } [8]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(66) "10 Scents Women That Turn Women On And How to Use Them (Sparingly)" ["link"]=> string(103) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/05/14/10-scents-women-that-turn-women-on-and-how-to-use-them-sparingly/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 14 May 2019 14:23:49 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(50) "InterestingLove & SexinterestingScentsturn onwomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=2215" ["description"]=> string(611) "

So many different scents can drive women wild. I used to know a girl who’d lose it every time she got a whiff of Skittles. I don’t mean the panties came off or anything?just that the scent put her in such a happy place that any guy interested in her would be a fool not […]

The post 10 Scents Women That Turn Women On And How to Use Them (Sparingly) appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(10479) "

So many different scents can drive women wild. I used to know a girl who’d lose it every time she got a whiff of Skittles. I don’t mean the panties came off or anything?just that the scent put her in such a happy place that any guy interested in her would be a fool not to take note (I sure did!). In fact, Yankee Candle should take note, too. Be forewarned, this list is going to run the gamut, from colognes to candles and a few things in between… even the air freshener scent you choose for your ride. Cuz, boys, that all counts.

Lime

Does she immediately think a Margarita is coming? I mean, I guess it depends upon the woman really. For a time, lime was being added to a lot of men?s after shaves. It is certainly a subtle smell, but it’s both familiar and soothing with the added benefit of somehow injecting a bit of summer into the air.

Leather

A survey done some years back asking women what scents they loved the most yielded this surprising winner. Yes, winner. The potential reasons why are limitless when you stop and think about it. It’s a masculine scent, but it also makes one think of high-end, sink-in-deep furniture, or even the interior of a fine automobile. Heck, it can remind a young lady of the saddle she threw on the horse she rode in her youth! Whatever the reason, leather pleases the lady.

Musk

Look, I didn’t even know musk is a scent; I thought it was another word for scent until I began doing research for this article. Lo and behold, one researcher described it as such: “Basically just male pheromones concentrated.” Good enough for me, how about you? Perhaps this is why it has been used in aftershaves and colognes since time began. Also, if your last name is Musk you can run with that, too. How’s Uncle Elon?

Peppermint

She’ll love it on your breath (via chewing gum, mint or even an aperitif), in your car and also in your home. It’s crisp, it cuts through odors only men can create and it the person who encounters it always immediately breathes it in. Deeply.

Christmas Tree

Will she peel those panties off right then and there? Not likely. But, “Christmas Tree” is one of Yankee Candle’s biggest sellers scent-wise, with customers touting it as the “perfect candle to buy for your man.” So you’ve got two choices: Wait for someone to give it to you (maybe mom, or your sister?) or go out and buy one and have that sucker lit when the lady you’re wooing comes over for dinner.

Earth

No, I am not suggesting you go and roll around in the dirt for a little bit. But getting your hands dirty might not hurt either. Studies have shown that “earthy scents like sandalwood, patchouli and rosewood are commonly associated with masculinity, and that women respond to this, as the earthy aroma warms the body and increases feelings of well-being.” I don’t know about patchouli, but sandalwood evidently “resembles andosterone, which is a chemical that is secreted from male underarms.” This same study concluded that women subconsciously link the scent of sandalwood with andosterone, which elevates their attraction to men and sexual desire.

Calvin Klein Eternity

Come on, Calvin has earned our trust by now. Any cologne from Klein is money in the bank?or, rather, money you should take out of the bank. A recent survey had a hundred women, ages 21 to 50, jotting down their favorite colognes and Eternity is the one that came out on top, though. I know, I know… Eternity can be an intimidating, off-putting word. But Calvin has been at it for about that long, so forgive him.

Christian Dior Sauvage

Is it a typo? Or have all us guys been misspelling “savage” all these years? Who knows and who cares? The ladies polled in the aforementioned study put this one at the top of the list, too. One even said, ?It smells like making love in the woods with a man you want to get lost with.” Um, OK. I don’t know how it manages that or even what that would smell like, but talk about #goals.

Salvatore Ferragamo ? F By Ferragamo Black

Oft-associated with being pricey, this particular fragrance?another favorite of the women surveyed?is actually one of the most affordable. Plus, it has been marketed and described by fans as “long-lasting” (five to six hours). “Long” and “lasting” are obviously two words that you want the ladies to associate with you.

Citrus

These ladies also singled out Versace Pour Homme, noting the citrus wonder of it all. Interestingly, citrus actually came up repeatedly in three, count ’em three,different studies. So have some OJ or grapefruit juice handy at all times!

The post 10 Scents Women That Turn Women On And How to Use Them (Sparingly) appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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So many different scents can drive women wild. I used to know a girl who’d lose it every time she got a whiff of Skittles. I don’t mean the panties came off or anything?just that the scent put her in such a happy place that any guy interested in her would be a fool not […]

The post 10 Scents Women That Turn Women On And How to Use Them (Sparingly) appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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So many different scents can drive women wild. I used to know a girl who’d lose it every time she got a whiff of Skittles. I don’t mean the panties came off or anything?just that the scent put her in such a happy place that any guy interested in her would be a fool not to take note (I sure did!). In fact, Yankee Candle should take note, too. Be forewarned, this list is going to run the gamut, from colognes to candles and a few things in between… even the air freshener scent you choose for your ride. Cuz, boys, that all counts.

Lime

Does she immediately think a Margarita is coming? I mean, I guess it depends upon the woman really. For a time, lime was being added to a lot of men?s after shaves. It is certainly a subtle smell, but it’s both familiar and soothing with the added benefit of somehow injecting a bit of summer into the air.

Leather

A survey done some years back asking women what scents they loved the most yielded this surprising winner. Yes, winner. The potential reasons why are limitless when you stop and think about it. It’s a masculine scent, but it also makes one think of high-end, sink-in-deep furniture, or even the interior of a fine automobile. Heck, it can remind a young lady of the saddle she threw on the horse she rode in her youth! Whatever the reason, leather pleases the lady.

Musk

Look, I didn’t even know musk is a scent; I thought it was another word for scent until I began doing research for this article. Lo and behold, one researcher described it as such: “Basically just male pheromones concentrated.” Good enough for me, how about you? Perhaps this is why it has been used in aftershaves and colognes since time began. Also, if your last name is Musk you can run with that, too. How’s Uncle Elon?

Peppermint

She’ll love it on your breath (via chewing gum, mint or even an aperitif), in your car and also in your home. It’s crisp, it cuts through odors only men can create and it the person who encounters it always immediately breathes it in. Deeply.

Christmas Tree

Will she peel those panties off right then and there? Not likely. But, “Christmas Tree” is one of Yankee Candle’s biggest sellers scent-wise, with customers touting it as the “perfect candle to buy for your man.” So you’ve got two choices: Wait for someone to give it to you (maybe mom, or your sister?) or go out and buy one and have that sucker lit when the lady you’re wooing comes over for dinner.

Earth

No, I am not suggesting you go and roll around in the dirt for a little bit. But getting your hands dirty might not hurt either. Studies have shown that “earthy scents like sandalwood, patchouli and rosewood are commonly associated with masculinity, and that women respond to this, as the earthy aroma warms the body and increases feelings of well-being.” I don’t know about patchouli, but sandalwood evidently “resembles andosterone, which is a chemical that is secreted from male underarms.” This same study concluded that women subconsciously link the scent of sandalwood with andosterone, which elevates their attraction to men and sexual desire.

Calvin Klein Eternity

Come on, Calvin has earned our trust by now. Any cologne from Klein is money in the bank?or, rather, money you should take out of the bank. A recent survey had a hundred women, ages 21 to 50, jotting down their favorite colognes and Eternity is the one that came out on top, though. I know, I know… Eternity can be an intimidating, off-putting word. But Calvin has been at it for about that long, so forgive him.

Christian Dior Sauvage

Is it a typo? Or have all us guys been misspelling “savage” all these years? Who knows and who cares? The ladies polled in the aforementioned study put this one at the top of the list, too. One even said, ?It smells like making love in the woods with a man you want to get lost with.” Um, OK. I don’t know how it manages that or even what that would smell like, but talk about #goals.

Salvatore Ferragamo ? F By Ferragamo Black

Oft-associated with being pricey, this particular fragrance?another favorite of the women surveyed?is actually one of the most affordable. Plus, it has been marketed and described by fans as “long-lasting” (five to six hours). “Long” and “lasting” are obviously two words that you want the ladies to associate with you.

Citrus

These ladies also singled out Versace Pour Homme, noting the citrus wonder of it all. Interestingly, citrus actually came up repeatedly in three, count ’em three,different studies. So have some OJ or grapefruit juice handy at all times!

The post 10 Scents Women That Turn Women On And How to Use Them (Sparingly) appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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W hile many a young gent may see the double date as ?safe,? or even simply the smarter way to go, should things not click for one half (or one quarter, really), disaster awaits. And yet, in the hands of deft wooers and pursuers, it can be a thing of beauty to witness. As long as you steer clear […]

The post Avoid These Double Date Don?ts at All Costs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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W hile many a young gent may see the double date as ?safe,? or even simply the smarter way to go, should things not click for one half (or one quarter, really), disaster awaits. And yet, in the hands of deft wooers and pursuers, it can be a thing of beauty to witness. As long as you steer clear of the following?

The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. It?s a puzzle best assembled by couples who?ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.

Hitting On Your Pal?s Date

The flirting will be inevitable. Those tried-and-true ?We should switch? and ?I should be with yours? jokes?even the ladies will make a few. Know when to stop, though. And, for Pete?s sake, should you come to the realization that you actually are with the wrong one, or simply prefer the other, that?s a conversation for you and your friend to have. Privately. Don?t just go for it, moron.

Bros in Front, Ladies in the Rear

Are you forcing two strangers together, two women you?re hoping will click, as you?re at ease with your best bud? That?s great! But it doesn?t mean they need to be stuck in the back seat of a vehicle, while you two are cranking Foo Fighters in the front and talking about The Walking Dead. You can get there eventually, but let them decide if they genuinely like each other first, rather than forcing them to prematurely decide they don?t.

Going to the Movies

What is this, 1985? The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. Why would you do it anyway? The chaos when selecting seats, conversations over each other?s heads and of course the potential pitfalls of simply picking a flick all four of you will appreciate. It?s a puzzle best assembled by couples who?ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.

Inside Jokes

The double-date is tricky enough in the first place?why make a person (or two) feel that much more on the periphery by playing Remember When? Shouting out catchphrases that only one out of four can catch is a surefire way for a young lady to suddenly get a headache and need to get home early. And let?s also forget reminiscing about the last time the two of you went on a double date, no matter how genuinely hilarious a tale it might be. The ladies don?t wanna be regaled with tag team tales. You?re players, we get it.

Getting Names Wrong

C?mon, brutha. There?s only two of ?em, and one is on your arm for the night. If you can?t come up with some way to remember twonames, thereby calling each of these ladies by the correct one, and especially not swapping their names out, it might be best to take yourself off the scene altogether for a while. Or, at the very least, let your buddy?who isgetting it right?fly solo from now on.

Holding Back

That?s right: Don?t hold back. If your boy doesn?t know his way around a dance floor, don?t let that prevent youfrom getting out there?especially if you do. If he?s not about a game of pool or a karaoke challenge, yet these are the areas in which you shine, you gotta leave him be. Point is, you still have to be youon a date?even if it?s a double one. And also, maybe reevaluate why you?re friends with this guy in the first place.

Picking Up the Whole Tab

You?re in this thing together, squiring these ladies around town and hopefully showing them a good time. Just one of you picking up the whole tab? No good. Best case, you?re very successful and generous and your friend is comfy in his own skin?but he?ll still come off looking Joey Tribiani pathetic. Worst case, you just come off looking like a show off. Just split it 50-50 and let the romance roll on.

The post Avoid These Double Date Don?ts at All Costs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(580) "

W hile many a young gent may see the double date as ?safe,? or even simply the smarter way to go, should things not click for one half (or one quarter, really), disaster awaits. And yet, in the hands of deft wooers and pursuers, it can be a thing of beauty to witness. As long as you steer clear […]

The post Avoid These Double Date Don?ts at All Costs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4339) "

W hile many a young gent may see the double date as ?safe,? or even simply the smarter way to go, should things not click for one half (or one quarter, really), disaster awaits. And yet, in the hands of deft wooers and pursuers, it can be a thing of beauty to witness. As long as you steer clear of the following?

The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. It?s a puzzle best assembled by couples who?ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.

Hitting On Your Pal?s Date

The flirting will be inevitable. Those tried-and-true ?We should switch? and ?I should be with yours? jokes?even the ladies will make a few. Know when to stop, though. And, for Pete?s sake, should you come to the realization that you actually are with the wrong one, or simply prefer the other, that?s a conversation for you and your friend to have. Privately. Don?t just go for it, moron.

Bros in Front, Ladies in the Rear

Are you forcing two strangers together, two women you?re hoping will click, as you?re at ease with your best bud? That?s great! But it doesn?t mean they need to be stuck in the back seat of a vehicle, while you two are cranking Foo Fighters in the front and talking about The Walking Dead. You can get there eventually, but let them decide if they genuinely like each other first, rather than forcing them to prematurely decide they don?t.

Going to the Movies

What is this, 1985? The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. Why would you do it anyway? The chaos when selecting seats, conversations over each other?s heads and of course the potential pitfalls of simply picking a flick all four of you will appreciate. It?s a puzzle best assembled by couples who?ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.

Inside Jokes

The double-date is tricky enough in the first place?why make a person (or two) feel that much more on the periphery by playing Remember When? Shouting out catchphrases that only one out of four can catch is a surefire way for a young lady to suddenly get a headache and need to get home early. And let?s also forget reminiscing about the last time the two of you went on a double date, no matter how genuinely hilarious a tale it might be. The ladies don?t wanna be regaled with tag team tales. You?re players, we get it.

Getting Names Wrong

C?mon, brutha. There?s only two of ?em, and one is on your arm for the night. If you can?t come up with some way to remember twonames, thereby calling each of these ladies by the correct one, and especially not swapping their names out, it might be best to take yourself off the scene altogether for a while. Or, at the very least, let your buddy?who isgetting it right?fly solo from now on.

Holding Back

That?s right: Don?t hold back. If your boy doesn?t know his way around a dance floor, don?t let that prevent youfrom getting out there?especially if you do. If he?s not about a game of pool or a karaoke challenge, yet these are the areas in which you shine, you gotta leave him be. Point is, you still have to be youon a date?even if it?s a double one. And also, maybe reevaluate why you?re friends with this guy in the first place.

Picking Up the Whole Tab

You?re in this thing together, squiring these ladies around town and hopefully showing them a good time. Just one of you picking up the whole tab? No good. Best case, you?re very successful and generous and your friend is comfy in his own skin?but he?ll still come off looking Joey Tribiani pathetic. Worst case, you just come off looking like a show off. Just split it 50-50 and let the romance roll on.

The post Avoid These Double Date Don?ts at All Costs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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