By far, hands down, the most bizarre review of a Bentley, no, wait, an R56 MINI, that I have ever read.
>Your vital male organ. How come it’s only with your vital organ that size doesn’t matter? I mean, no one’s girlfriend ever said, “Of course size doesn’t matter, I don’t care what size the diamond is, or the handbag, the bra, the divorce settlement.” Whatever they say, size always matters.
It’s A A Gill sitting in for Mr. Clarkson on this interview, although I doubt it could be any more cheeky.
>It’s all design gimmicks that aren’t an improvement. Is that a tap or does it turn on the lights? The most annoying feature is the speedometer, the size of a soup plate, as if bigger makes quick faster. There’s another digital speedo behind the wheel – fast, faster and faster still. This is a little motor that wants you to think it’s Kate Moss. A pretty, naughty, goer.
Definitely worth the read. A very entertaining review!
[ MINI Cooper S Review ] Timesonline.co.uk
WTF? What was this guy smoking?
Dumbest review I’ve read yet of any MINI Cooper.
Huh ? I ..a..Wha ..?
My brain hurts.
I like a guy who can squeeze a lot of funny into a few words. This review was a lot of words, and therefore a LOT of funny. It was almost too much.
If you look him up, AA Gill appears to have come from outside the pool of auto reviewers– he’s actually a travelogue writer and food critic. Like most British critics, he also has a troubled history of sticking his foot in his mouth (which is an accurate metaphor btw; his dyslexia is so severe that he must dictate his pieces in order to submit them).
But I think he’s got a bright future in auto reviews if he wants it.
This reminds me of writing an advanced or in this case not so advanced composition assignment while being in the bag–then reading it in the morning. Ahh-British humor–gotta love it.
What was this thing I just read masquerading as an review…?!?
Hey – what can ya say? Some folks just REALLY like the sound of their own voice!
I absolutely love the sheer irreverence and in ÿour face” style of British automotive journalists which are the most feared in the car industry.
This sort of brutal car reviews are sorely lacking in our politically correct American auto media. The vast majority of American auto journalists (Unlike Jerry Flint or Robert Bowden) exhibit a pretty shameful lack of integrity and character when calling out a car for its glaring faults. Of course, they don’t want to lose access to manufacturer sponsored press previews and other perks that come with the job.
We need more Jeremy Clarksons, Richard Hammonds, Quentin Wilsons, et al filling the airwaves with their down to earth auto reviews. These guys may pass as arrogant to the average American audience, but they know their stuff and they know it very well. We need independent car journalists that aren’t afraid of upsetting the marketing departments of car corporations.
I can’t wait for the day when BBC begins to produce an American version of Top Gear in this country. Common Jezza, the United States of Boredom needs you here!
seriously, am i missing something in the british to american translation thats supposed to be funny here? this doesnt even make any sense from a simple grammar standpoint. this is pure garbage!!!
Automobiles are very personal items, more so than, say, toothpaste. I value performance, handling, style, as does the typical auto rag reviewer. Most auto reviews are predictable.
But this review was written by someone reflecting a very different attitude towards cars. Its not mine, but I like reading it.
..folks, it means he likes it… but begrudges the fact that he likes it because he always reckoned his Bentley would be enough to keep him happy. That’s where the Bentley comes in 😉
Anyway, top class review… very funny.
Alllllllllllllrighty then!
Crappus. 4th declension noun meaning dice game.
I really miss Setright!
“Verdict It might be small but it’s what you can do with it that counts”
I think that about sums it up very nicely.
That wasn’t an easy read. Clarkson’s ramblings are at least witty and on topic. AA Gill seems to be trying to follow Clarkson’s style… but he misses in a most uncomfortable way.
Trade a Bently for a MINI? I love my MINI, but if I could afford (let along trade) a Bently, I think there would be a number of smaller sports coupes that would spring to mind first. Hey, if the guy really wants to be like Clarkson, maybe he should got for a used Lamborghini Murcielago, instead.
Did Ian McKellan write this? And “Chinaman?” What century is he living in? Love how he rags on the Germans without realizing that his precious Bentley is owned by VW.
Worst. Review. Ever.
Ah, yes… ragging zee Gerrrmanz.
Another forced Clarkson-ism.
that review was a cultural experience…very interesting
heh, brilliant! hey guys, you’re driving a british car, how can you not get the humour?
It was a hoot. “Tardis”, “Corpulent” and “sylphlike” all in one reveiw; can you imagine? I did’nt care for the fact that first mention of the MINI appears at the eleventh paragraph, but who’s counting…
Brill! Very effective skewering of the overcompensators out there. Mr. Gill has brass ones, and an hilarious comparison scale for most everything. Well Done, even if he mis-spelled Graf Spee. A Hoot, and now my favorite review of a car, ever.
It sounds like he liked the car a lot. From reading the comments here I expected him to bash it or be making fun of it. Mabye the brits here can tell us if we yanks are misreading his humor.